Reading through "The Mark of the Lion" by Francine Rivers has really made me reflect on what it looks like to lead a Christian life. It was while I was reading and reflecting on the third book of that series that I tried to unravel that popular saying "God is strong where I am weak."
I had often prayed before going into certain situations, where I considered myself weak, that he would provide back-up. I viewed God as a gap filler. I wanted him to come along to reinforce the sturdy walls I had made myself and relied so heavily upon. My own strengths had slowly become like idols to me without my realizing so. That fact scared me!
I came to realize that trusting fully on God looked very differently than I originally had thought. It didn't mean hoping that he would fill in the gaps. It meant that I needed to tear down my walls, humble myself, and know that God had it all under control so I didn't need to. Trusting in God's strength means getting rid of my pride and making myself a vulnerable servant, fully open to his will.
For through such trust am I able to go beyond anything that I would have hoped or dreamed for my future. So I will work to humble myself so that I can fully rely on God and his strength without my pride getting in the way.
Tuesday, May 10, 2016
Sunday, August 9, 2015
Complaining Gets You No Where
This evening I was reading through the third chapter of Psalms. This chapter is written by David as he was fleeing for his life from his son Absalom.
David is often referred to as a man who sought after God's own heart. After reading through this chapter, I began to wonder what made David so earnestly seek God?
David, like many other people we consider to be inspirational, had a pretty tough life. Many chapters in the Old Testament are filled with stories of him fleeing from one enemy, or another, and hiding in caves.
I've been in a few caves and while they are fun to explore, I would not likely start real estate shopping for one. They are dark, cold, small, and hard (so basically all around uncomfortable). If I was David I would be complaining from sun up to sun down. But that's not what we read in Psalm 3.
He praises God for always being there to be his shield. He seeks God's will because through his struggle, he has to face the issues at face value. He can't wish them away. He is forced to realize that nothing he do can will ultimately change what he is facing.
David was so strong because he had to deal with so much. Life never seemed comfortable for David too long before the next struggle would hit. But he saw these obstacles as they really are, blessings in disguise.
It was through the constant upheaval of David's life that he learned complete trust in God. The book of Psalms is filled with the evident joy and peace that overcame him.
These Psalms show us the great rewards that await once we learn to do the same. Through the struggle we learn to let go of our control of the situation. We are forced to realize we are weak.
Give up the power struggle and complaining. Allow the shield of the Lord surround you and find peace.
David is often referred to as a man who sought after God's own heart. After reading through this chapter, I began to wonder what made David so earnestly seek God?
David, like many other people we consider to be inspirational, had a pretty tough life. Many chapters in the Old Testament are filled with stories of him fleeing from one enemy, or another, and hiding in caves.
I've been in a few caves and while they are fun to explore, I would not likely start real estate shopping for one. They are dark, cold, small, and hard (so basically all around uncomfortable). If I was David I would be complaining from sun up to sun down. But that's not what we read in Psalm 3.
He praises God for always being there to be his shield. He seeks God's will because through his struggle, he has to face the issues at face value. He can't wish them away. He is forced to realize that nothing he do can will ultimately change what he is facing.
David was so strong because he had to deal with so much. Life never seemed comfortable for David too long before the next struggle would hit. But he saw these obstacles as they really are, blessings in disguise.
It was through the constant upheaval of David's life that he learned complete trust in God. The book of Psalms is filled with the evident joy and peace that overcame him.
These Psalms show us the great rewards that await once we learn to do the same. Through the struggle we learn to let go of our control of the situation. We are forced to realize we are weak.
Give up the power struggle and complaining. Allow the shield of the Lord surround you and find peace.
Wednesday, May 20, 2015
Why I Love Books
There's something magical found between the covers of a book. Being in their presence often inspires me. This is why I love places like the library and Barnes and Noble. It's wonderful reading through the thoughts others have had before, unraveling their beliefs, and seeing the world through their eyes.
I find it amazing that we have been granted such imagination and creativity when our loves ate so fleeting. Others find such awe when they marvel at the latest and greatest technology but I find it when I'm reading through a good book that could have been written a hundred years ago. I often get wrapped up in the world constructed by another and it causes me to ponder the world I live in and see it from a new perspective.
To be assured, I do not hold such loving feelings for all books. There are some written pieces that I feel do not good the honor of being in the presence of other wonderful works. Books are meant to teach us, to better our understanding of ourselves or the world which has been created. That is the mark of a truly good book, to make us think. And that is why I often spend at least an hour at places where books are plentiful. It's another way for me to glimpse God's handiwork. And it helps that they often serve coffee. It's what they stand for that I find so enchanting and often struggle with when it's time to move on to the next scheduled activity. So without further ado, I'm going to get back to my latte and reading.
I find it amazing that we have been granted such imagination and creativity when our loves ate so fleeting. Others find such awe when they marvel at the latest and greatest technology but I find it when I'm reading through a good book that could have been written a hundred years ago. I often get wrapped up in the world constructed by another and it causes me to ponder the world I live in and see it from a new perspective.
To be assured, I do not hold such loving feelings for all books. There are some written pieces that I feel do not good the honor of being in the presence of other wonderful works. Books are meant to teach us, to better our understanding of ourselves or the world which has been created. That is the mark of a truly good book, to make us think. And that is why I often spend at least an hour at places where books are plentiful. It's another way for me to glimpse God's handiwork. And it helps that they often serve coffee. It's what they stand for that I find so enchanting and often struggle with when it's time to move on to the next scheduled activity. So without further ado, I'm going to get back to my latte and reading.
Sunday, April 12, 2015
John 1 and how I Feel About Poetry
Out of the many verses of the Bible, I'd have to say that I enjoy reading the first chunk of John chapter 1 the most. It's very different from many verses in the Bible. It's somewhat ambiguous and full of symbolism. All the times I have read through it, different section become clearer to me or stands out. This of course is true of all verses in the Bible and for many that read it, but John 1 vs 1 through 18 are different for me.
I remember the first time it was read to me, which was most likely in the sunday school or some other sort of Bible class. I had no idea what was going on and I thought it was strange that John decided to begin his version of the gospel in such a way. Middle school version of me wanted to talk to John and ask him what he was really trying to say. I had similar struggles in high school when it came to deciphering poems. I had very little patience for these people called poets who couldn't just spit out what it was they were trying to say.
These irritations continued until one day everything snapped into place. My brain began making connections and forming understanding that was not there before. My frontal lobes matured enough to find meeting and appreciation for the art of poetry.
Part of what gave me such a Eureka moment came from the help of my high school English teacher. They took us step by step through some of the verses of Scripture (one of the Psalms but I can't remember which) until the symbols and the context not only made sense but also spoke to me.
Having attended a Christian school, my teachers also often spoke of the importance of words and language. Reminding me and my classmates of how easily a person can be built up or be brought down low by using words.
These two lessons made me realize the importance of my words and heeled me to understand the beauty of the poetry John had written. John could have written the opening of his gospel in a very different, more direct way, but would it would not be nearly as unique or beautiful.
When I think of John drafting his introduction to Jesus' life and story, I imagined him struggling, attempting to write it in some more comprehensive way, and failing. And then, I imagine him being struck with inspiration and taking a completely different path.
What I found with poetry is that it flows from deep within your soul. Something stirs and we just have to let it out. When I've written poetry I write what comes to me as I go. I believe poetry can often come from the Holy Spirit working in us trying to tell us something in a way that is different from how we usually talk or write.
I found such a stirring after reading through those verses in John just now. Reading a different version (the Message) has also helped to bring some light to what John was inspired to write. I've also for the first time noticed the parallels between the opening of Genesis (speaking the word world into creation through the use of words) and how John takes this idea to explain to us how God was now speaking / creating salvation through Jesus. It's pretty powerful stuff!
I encourage you to take a moment and read the first eighteen verses of John one. Read them slowly, read them aloud, and marvel in the beauty that they hold; the truth that they speak of.
I remember the first time it was read to me, which was most likely in the sunday school or some other sort of Bible class. I had no idea what was going on and I thought it was strange that John decided to begin his version of the gospel in such a way. Middle school version of me wanted to talk to John and ask him what he was really trying to say. I had similar struggles in high school when it came to deciphering poems. I had very little patience for these people called poets who couldn't just spit out what it was they were trying to say.
These irritations continued until one day everything snapped into place. My brain began making connections and forming understanding that was not there before. My frontal lobes matured enough to find meeting and appreciation for the art of poetry.
Part of what gave me such a Eureka moment came from the help of my high school English teacher. They took us step by step through some of the verses of Scripture (one of the Psalms but I can't remember which) until the symbols and the context not only made sense but also spoke to me.
Having attended a Christian school, my teachers also often spoke of the importance of words and language. Reminding me and my classmates of how easily a person can be built up or be brought down low by using words.
These two lessons made me realize the importance of my words and heeled me to understand the beauty of the poetry John had written. John could have written the opening of his gospel in a very different, more direct way, but would it would not be nearly as unique or beautiful.
When I think of John drafting his introduction to Jesus' life and story, I imagined him struggling, attempting to write it in some more comprehensive way, and failing. And then, I imagine him being struck with inspiration and taking a completely different path.
What I found with poetry is that it flows from deep within your soul. Something stirs and we just have to let it out. When I've written poetry I write what comes to me as I go. I believe poetry can often come from the Holy Spirit working in us trying to tell us something in a way that is different from how we usually talk or write.
I found such a stirring after reading through those verses in John just now. Reading a different version (the Message) has also helped to bring some light to what John was inspired to write. I've also for the first time noticed the parallels between the opening of Genesis (speaking the word world into creation through the use of words) and how John takes this idea to explain to us how God was now speaking / creating salvation through Jesus. It's pretty powerful stuff!
I encourage you to take a moment and read the first eighteen verses of John one. Read them slowly, read them aloud, and marvel in the beauty that they hold; the truth that they speak of.
Friday, December 26, 2014
That Christmas Time Feeling
There it's something magical about the Christmas season. I think that part of it has to do with the unity that you see. It seems like everyone, regardless of their beliefs, puts up some sort of decorations even if it is just a string of yellow lights. Everyone is in a good mood. People become more patient and giving. The poor are looked after. Families come together. Old hurts are forgotten. It just seems like everyone and everything is in harmony.
I've loved but also have disliked this season for those reasons. The reason why it can sometimes rub me the wrong way is because it all seems like a false front. We've all decided to close a door on how things really are, decorate it all nice and pretty, and just ignore it until sometime around mid January. The sentiment all seems so fake that sometimes it just makes me want to scream. Stop pretending! Or if you really do want to turn over a new leaf then sick with it for more that a month and a half.
Thinking these things over during this time of year I realize how quickly I can become quite cynical (Ba-humbug!). Trying to think these things over in a new light I've been led to a new realization. What if this time of year, all this unity and cheerfulness, what if this is God's Christmas gift to us? I wonder if He is granting is just a glimpse of what heaven will look like. He is using this very special time of year to help us look back at the birth of Christ but to also look forward to our time in heaven and all the glories that await us there.
The unity that we see at this time of year is but a taste of what we will experience in eternity. The joy, the forgiveness, and the community will be complete and beyond our understanding. That wonderful image has given me a whole new kind of Christmas warm and fuzzy feeling. It helps remind me that we truly do have quite the wondrous life to live and mission to spread this news to others. It makes me cry out all the more with my heart, "Come Lord Jesus, come quickly! "
I've loved but also have disliked this season for those reasons. The reason why it can sometimes rub me the wrong way is because it all seems like a false front. We've all decided to close a door on how things really are, decorate it all nice and pretty, and just ignore it until sometime around mid January. The sentiment all seems so fake that sometimes it just makes me want to scream. Stop pretending! Or if you really do want to turn over a new leaf then sick with it for more that a month and a half.
Thinking these things over during this time of year I realize how quickly I can become quite cynical (Ba-humbug!). Trying to think these things over in a new light I've been led to a new realization. What if this time of year, all this unity and cheerfulness, what if this is God's Christmas gift to us? I wonder if He is granting is just a glimpse of what heaven will look like. He is using this very special time of year to help us look back at the birth of Christ but to also look forward to our time in heaven and all the glories that await us there.
The unity that we see at this time of year is but a taste of what we will experience in eternity. The joy, the forgiveness, and the community will be complete and beyond our understanding. That wonderful image has given me a whole new kind of Christmas warm and fuzzy feeling. It helps remind me that we truly do have quite the wondrous life to live and mission to spread this news to others. It makes me cry out all the more with my heart, "Come Lord Jesus, come quickly! "
Saturday, December 20, 2014
Teaching with the Little Drummer Boy
At school, some of the staff members -myself included- took part in a book study. The book we read and discussed was called "how to teach like a pirate". I truly loved working through this book and reading my colleagues' insights on how they have used some of the teaching strategies from the book. It was an enjoyable experience and I would recommend it to anyone who teaches or hips to become a teacher.
But what really hit me was found in the last few pages of the book. The author, Dave Burgess, was sharing a personal story of how he was listening to the radio and the song "little drummer boy " came on. One of the lines really spoke to him. The line was, "I played my drum for Him...
I played my best for Him...Then He smiled at me...". The author goes on to talk about how as teachers, teaching is our drum, and how we ought to play our best.
That story really resonated with me. God gave me these gifts and a place to use them so I should teach my best every day for myself, for my students, and for God.
This message really spoke to me when I was especially down on myself. If compare myself to this author and to other teachers and convince myself that I didn't measure up. I unfortunately went into a phase where I stopped trying do hard. Good enough was good for me. In the back of my mind I knew I was capable of more and I was very concerned my principal would drop in on a terribly executed lesson.
The story of the drummer boy has convinced me otherwise. God knew what he was doing when he led me to teach and plopped me in South Dakota to do so. The drummer boy's story tells us that this is true for all of us and encourages us to play our best for Him (pa rum pa pa pum). So go out there with your drum and make beautiful music to our Lord. Merry Christmas.
But what really hit me was found in the last few pages of the book. The author, Dave Burgess, was sharing a personal story of how he was listening to the radio and the song "little drummer boy " came on. One of the lines really spoke to him. The line was, "I played my drum for Him...
I played my best for Him...Then He smiled at me...". The author goes on to talk about how as teachers, teaching is our drum, and how we ought to play our best.
That story really resonated with me. God gave me these gifts and a place to use them so I should teach my best every day for myself, for my students, and for God.
This message really spoke to me when I was especially down on myself. If compare myself to this author and to other teachers and convince myself that I didn't measure up. I unfortunately went into a phase where I stopped trying do hard. Good enough was good for me. In the back of my mind I knew I was capable of more and I was very concerned my principal would drop in on a terribly executed lesson.
The story of the drummer boy has convinced me otherwise. God knew what he was doing when he led me to teach and plopped me in South Dakota to do so. The drummer boy's story tells us that this is true for all of us and encourages us to play our best for Him (pa rum pa pa pum). So go out there with your drum and make beautiful music to our Lord. Merry Christmas.
Monday, December 15, 2014
Waiting
Today my roommate told me she wasn't listening to music because it distracted her from the time of peace and anticipation for the birth of the newborn King. I initially thought this was odd because I've never done such a thing outside of in church meditations, and because I've always seen music as a tool to get me ready for the Christmas season. But I do also tend to use music to pass the time.
I consider myself a rather patient person (you kind of have to be when dealing with high schoolers) but I really struggle with waiting. It's t minus three and a half hours till my birthday and I've already opened the gifts that have been sent to me. I always hate travel days -especially flying- because of all the waiting around which I am powerless to change. I can't handle driving more than 2 hours without speeding every once in awhile so I can reach my destination sooner. And now we are in a season of waiting and I'm running out of things to do as the semester wraps up and I have finished the book I was reading.
I become very lazy, not prone to take on something new or being productive. Snow days are terrible when I'm caught up on both planning and grading. I know I could plan further ahead or come up with something more creative to do, but I just simply don't. I snack and watch another episode of whatever show has recently piqued my interest. It is so terrible and definitely not the way I should be spending this waiting season. So this is me trying to change that and work on being more reflective as Christmas continues to come ever closer.
The whole reason Jesus is coming, has come, is to redirect us and save us. He spent his some 30 odd years on earth trying to teach us, mentor us, and to show us his great love. One can't think of Christmas without looking ahead to Easter. This little child, this Holy Child is only the beginning.
I have a fairly good working knowledge of those events as told by the Bible. Why they occurred, and how it relates to me yet I seem to fail in my personalization of it all. I recognize and frequently see that our world is broken- so, so broken - and we are all crying out for salvation from this brokenness, get I fail to recognize my part in the brokenness. I can sometimes imagine God chastising me, reminding me that, "You too are broken Amber. Just look at the sins you have committed and how you have fallen short. You point the finger even though you are part of the problem." I too need Jesus. I too am broken, sinful, corrupt, tainted , and unclean. I too have ungodly desires and tend to despise rather than love my neighbor (especially when they are being annoying and testing my patience.)
I am as much to blame as anyone else. I too should be preparing myself for the coming of the King. I too ought not to get swept up in the busyness, the anxieties, and the chaos that has become the Christmas season. I need to be a part of it, be part of the waiting for Christ.
That's another thing I've struggled with in relation to the Christmas season; all the glitz and glam, all the wanting, all the gift purchasing, all the greedy desires that bubble up, and the dissatisfaction in getting some random object would you either don't use or don't like. I love this season but there are parts that I hate as well.
I've never considered myself a good gift giver. I kinda hate giving people gifts. All the second guessing involved messes with my mind and my confidence. The bad reception of a few gifts are always the memories that stand out in my mind. I sometimes wonder how much Christmas would be different if instead of buying gifts that people may or may not like -much less may or may not need- and giving that money to charity would look like.
What if we came together and spend that time talking about our faith, recognizing the true reason which we are all gathered together. We can enjoy each other's company, get caught up with family and friends, then go out to purchase a family a nice Christmas meal or even invite them to our own?
Reflecting on the many Christmases I've spent with my family I cannot confidently say I felt a strong sense of us coming together to celebrate Jesus. When I was younger the focus was predictably on the gifts. We would go to church on Christmas Eve and try our hardest to patiently sit through the seemingly endless service- yet again more waiting- to race back to Grandma's and let the wrapping paper carnage begin. As I've grown older I looked forward to coming together or the social aspect to Christmas rather than the gifts (which are now usually cash since no one, myself included, knows what to get a 20 something for Christmas.)
Again I would love to see us intentionally setting aside some time, as a family, to focus on God. Sing some Christmas carols, read the story of Jesus's birth, share where we have seen Christ working in our lives, share our prayers of thanks and gratitude.
I wonder how Jesus would celebrate Christmas. Now stay with me on this one because I totally get how that statement doesn't make sense, but hear me out on this one. I imagine Jesus spending every day of this Advent season in worship. I just see him meditating on the King's coming and the pastor's sermon each week and relating it back to him and how he lives his life. I see him selflessly giving up his time and money to help at different volunteer opportunities at his town or through his church. I see him spending his Christmas bonus helping a single parents to buy coats, hats, boots, and gloves for their kiddos, all the while sharing the father's great love for them and showing them a way out of their pain and sorrow.
There truly is so much to do, preparations to make, love to spread, and a king to serve during this time of waiting. So make the best of it!
I consider myself a rather patient person (you kind of have to be when dealing with high schoolers) but I really struggle with waiting. It's t minus three and a half hours till my birthday and I've already opened the gifts that have been sent to me. I always hate travel days -especially flying- because of all the waiting around which I am powerless to change. I can't handle driving more than 2 hours without speeding every once in awhile so I can reach my destination sooner. And now we are in a season of waiting and I'm running out of things to do as the semester wraps up and I have finished the book I was reading.
I become very lazy, not prone to take on something new or being productive. Snow days are terrible when I'm caught up on both planning and grading. I know I could plan further ahead or come up with something more creative to do, but I just simply don't. I snack and watch another episode of whatever show has recently piqued my interest. It is so terrible and definitely not the way I should be spending this waiting season. So this is me trying to change that and work on being more reflective as Christmas continues to come ever closer.
The whole reason Jesus is coming, has come, is to redirect us and save us. He spent his some 30 odd years on earth trying to teach us, mentor us, and to show us his great love. One can't think of Christmas without looking ahead to Easter. This little child, this Holy Child is only the beginning.
I have a fairly good working knowledge of those events as told by the Bible. Why they occurred, and how it relates to me yet I seem to fail in my personalization of it all. I recognize and frequently see that our world is broken- so, so broken - and we are all crying out for salvation from this brokenness, get I fail to recognize my part in the brokenness. I can sometimes imagine God chastising me, reminding me that, "You too are broken Amber. Just look at the sins you have committed and how you have fallen short. You point the finger even though you are part of the problem." I too need Jesus. I too am broken, sinful, corrupt, tainted , and unclean. I too have ungodly desires and tend to despise rather than love my neighbor (especially when they are being annoying and testing my patience.)
I am as much to blame as anyone else. I too should be preparing myself for the coming of the King. I too ought not to get swept up in the busyness, the anxieties, and the chaos that has become the Christmas season. I need to be a part of it, be part of the waiting for Christ.
That's another thing I've struggled with in relation to the Christmas season; all the glitz and glam, all the wanting, all the gift purchasing, all the greedy desires that bubble up, and the dissatisfaction in getting some random object would you either don't use or don't like. I love this season but there are parts that I hate as well.
I've never considered myself a good gift giver. I kinda hate giving people gifts. All the second guessing involved messes with my mind and my confidence. The bad reception of a few gifts are always the memories that stand out in my mind. I sometimes wonder how much Christmas would be different if instead of buying gifts that people may or may not like -much less may or may not need- and giving that money to charity would look like.
What if we came together and spend that time talking about our faith, recognizing the true reason which we are all gathered together. We can enjoy each other's company, get caught up with family and friends, then go out to purchase a family a nice Christmas meal or even invite them to our own?
Reflecting on the many Christmases I've spent with my family I cannot confidently say I felt a strong sense of us coming together to celebrate Jesus. When I was younger the focus was predictably on the gifts. We would go to church on Christmas Eve and try our hardest to patiently sit through the seemingly endless service- yet again more waiting- to race back to Grandma's and let the wrapping paper carnage begin. As I've grown older I looked forward to coming together or the social aspect to Christmas rather than the gifts (which are now usually cash since no one, myself included, knows what to get a 20 something for Christmas.)
Again I would love to see us intentionally setting aside some time, as a family, to focus on God. Sing some Christmas carols, read the story of Jesus's birth, share where we have seen Christ working in our lives, share our prayers of thanks and gratitude.
I wonder how Jesus would celebrate Christmas. Now stay with me on this one because I totally get how that statement doesn't make sense, but hear me out on this one. I imagine Jesus spending every day of this Advent season in worship. I just see him meditating on the King's coming and the pastor's sermon each week and relating it back to him and how he lives his life. I see him selflessly giving up his time and money to help at different volunteer opportunities at his town or through his church. I see him spending his Christmas bonus helping a single parents to buy coats, hats, boots, and gloves for their kiddos, all the while sharing the father's great love for them and showing them a way out of their pain and sorrow.
There truly is so much to do, preparations to make, love to spread, and a king to serve during this time of waiting. So make the best of it!
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